SMALL steps...and without excitement

That pretty much says it...I'm still taking SMALL, SMALL SMALL steps...and living in my typical fantasy world....which is where, I should admit, I usually get very discouraged and give up.

Will I this time? I've asked myself that question a couple times today, even during my 'beginner' 2 mile walk with Leslie. It was all I could do to DO IT...late start, other things calling my name today (the loudest of whom is Connor -- who is sick)...but there are so many things I need to do, WANT to do today, I just really struggled getting in front of the TV to walk.

BUT I DID IT. Hooray for me. I'll celebrate this even if I'm the only one -- tho I know there are others who'll pat me on the back, too! Thing is, I just wish I could SEE results NOW. There are none...

I am not sleeping well at night. I thought that was supposed to be a bonus...but for the past week (at least) Mark and I both are awake at 3,4AM...sometimes for two hours...yes, I do get up and spend time praying (how spiritually mature of me!), but honestly I'd really like to sleep. (how humanly selfish of me).

Granted, I am in Day Two of my cycle...which seems to be worse as I get older, for intensity. (That's all I'll say on that)...but the first two days are totally, truly CRUMMY. I feel bloated, FAT, sloppy, tired, nee exhausted...and have less motivation than usual to get anything done.

Think that's "it"? That this too shall pass, and that by Sunday I'll be back to feeling better? Its just been such a long time that I've been MOVING at all, and esp during my cycle, that I just don't know what I should be expecting/feeling. I'd like to be feeling that all this effort is paying off NOW...

I don't have the guts to weigh myself...I'm relying on finding changes in how my clothes fit. BUT WHEN???

Anyway, I DID IT. Even tho I didn't "feel" like doing it. I moved for 30 mins. Less vigorously. probably, than yesterday, but it was a victory just doing it. And yes, I'm pleased I did it.

Connor is sick today. Not nigh-unto-death sick, thank the Lord...but his asthma flared up, OR, he got a cold and it was made worse b/c he has asthma...not sure which is which. But at any rate, he has this nasty cold. Runny, runny nose (rubbed/wiped nearly raw), cough (which is loose now, but started as a 'bark'), no temp today (low-grade yesterday). He really knows how to play the helpless card. "Get me a drink", "I need my bucket" (this is for if he gags and pukes -- which he frequently does)...he can be pretty demanding. HOWEVER, let me point out, that this does NOT get me running to meet every demand! Nope. If he can walk he can get it himself. AT least most of the time! (I would not make a very good nurse!)

Mark is BUSY BUSY BUSY. Its really setting up to be a very good year...at least a very good first quarter. To me, its clearly an answer to prayer...that Prayer of Jabez you know...also that the Lord would give him the desires of his heart. Part of 'that', I know, is to have success and favor with those he networks with...and I see all that coming to pass. It will be exciting to see it all unfold.

Kate has had minimal success with her new job hunt...she has an interview at O'Charley's tomorrow afternoon...I'm praying for God's best...but also just for a JOB. We all know they are hard to come by these days...but still I'm praying for a great new opportunity for her...and of course praying for her future. I'm sitll plagued by the "how" part of what's next for her. Mark is determined to not help her go into debt by co-signing loans for college...so then "how"? I do not disagree with him "in theory" but in practics...well, hm....Truly it'll take God's provision and clear direction to make a way where, right now, there seems to be none. (I think, Sarah, you can relate!?)

For me, and speaking of Sarah...she's got me looking into digital scrapbooking. I think it might be a good thing...so I'm sort of itching to try. I've got to do SOMETHING to get moving toward getting Kate's album going forward...right now, I'm at a stand-still (one of those things on my list today)...

We shall see.

I'll quit rambling right now.

Oh, one more thing...my friend Phyllis told me about a product she's using that has made a world of difference in her life -- at least physically. Its a company called "Isagenix" (I think that's how you spell it)..she's lost 65 lbs in a year, and feels better than she has in ages. If you'd like to know more, let me know and I will have Phyllis contact you with more info.

Have a great Friday. I'll be back as soon as I feel like myself...at least to confirm that I actually DO feel better. And I'll let you know as soon as my pants feel too big!